Self-examination is one of the most valuable dimensions of spiritual health. Psalm 139 concludes with the request that God would search our hearts. When we make that request, it implies that we will embark on such an examination ourselves, trusting that He would guide us to see what He sees. What are the things we should be looking for? Like a doctor diagnosing a patient, we should be alert to the negative side (our shortcomings) as well as the positive side (our progress). What sins are we still struggling with? What dimensions of the fruit of the spirit are we seeing increase? What deeds of the flesh do people still see in us? What marks of godliness are we consciously cultivating?
But certainly the most important thing for us, is to do all of this with the desire that the Lord would show us what He sees within our hearts. We are too prone to look too shallowly and just see things on the surface. We are too prone to excuse ourselves and think too highly of ourselves. We are too likely to deceive ourselves and to accept the kind words others say about us as fully trustworthy and sufficiently accurate. But the Lord sees us as we truly are. Of course, that knowledge can be quite painful. But it brings the sorrow that leads to further and deeper repentance.
What’s wonderful about all this is not only that He sees deeply and correctly, including all the faults and failures we try to cover up, but that He loves us in spite of all those blemishes, and is ready to help us overcome them and make more progress in lives of holiness. As Dane Ortlund has written so helpfully in his marvelous book, “Gentle and Lowly” (as he reflects on the book by the Puritan author, Thomas Goodwin), Jesus is the physician who doesn’t turn away the sick until they heal themselves, He is the physician who is glad to heal when they come to Him. Satan tempts us to think that Jesus would be angry at us when we sin, and so we feel too embarrassed to come to Him in that condition. But that’s exactly when He most wants us to come and most lovingly and helpfully welcomes us when we do.