Father, I Know That All My Life

A lack of contentment simmers in our hearts, even when it doesn’t boil over in anger or depression.  But the Bible tells us that God has given us resources to resist the temptation to give in to that spirit of discontent.  Not only does He repeatedly tell us not to worry or be anxious (as in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6).  We even find it commanded in Philippians 4:11 and in the tenth commandment.  But the Bible also gives us direction in how to keep from falling into that sin.  We find it in all the places that remind us that God is in control, He knows what is best for us, and we can trust Him.  That includes Psalm 139 where He tells us that all our days were ordained for us (by Him) before one of them came to be.

And so the Christian’s life and demeanor should stand out in sharp contrast to those around us who do not know a Heavenly Father who has planned out all the details of our life with love and wisdom, and who carries us through life’s challenges with tenderness and power.  These promises are ours even when we cannot see His hand or understand His plan.  That means we can be content, as Paul said, in all circumstances, even those of war and disease, of poverty and danger, of disaster and abandonment, and of the worries about our children and the disappointments of broken relationships.

Here is a hymn that expresses well that spirit of contentment in which we should all be living.  It is not merely a description of that spirit.  It also tells us how it is possible.  It is rooted in the sovereignty of the God who is our Savior, Friend, and Heavenly Father.  “Father, I Know That All My Life Is Portioned Out for Me.”  The hymn is not well known today, and is found in relatively few hymnals, but it is a treasure with rich resources for great counseling and powerful encouragement for believers of every age.  It appears to be best-known in Salvation Army circles and in churches in Africa and in China.  It needs to be brought back into widespread use in evangelical worship in the west.  With so much anxiety infecting even believers’ hearts, the hymn offers a solid biblical remedy for that lack of contentment.

It was written in 1850 by Anna Laetitia Waring (1823-1910).  It appeared that year in a small book of 19 hymns. She was born in south Wales and raised in the Quaker tradition until she joined the Church of England at the age of 19.  She learned Hebrew to be able to read from the Psalms daily in the original inspired text.  She wrote about 40 hymns, the best-known of which is “In Heavenly Love Abiding,” a text based on Psalm 23.

We know little about her.   She lived what has been called “a quiet, self-renouncing life.”  She was particularly drawn to visiting people in prison, spending time reading Scripture to them, and she followed that up by volunteering with the “Discharged Prisoners’ Aid Society.” Seemingly absent of pride, her life of humble service is a consistent application of the truths of which she wrote in her hymn.  Hopefully, this study will alert more believers to its value in our anxiety-filled culture.

In our world that exalts “bigness” and covets power and influence, the theology of Waring’s hymn points us to a very different set of values.  Jesus taught that the first would be last, that the meek and humble would inherit far greater spiritual treasures than anything the world can offer.  All around us are the realms of politics, of business, of sports, of industry, and of entertainment.  In all those and more, size and fame and success are measured by a different standard.  Jesus called us to live lives of quiet servanthood.  This hymn echoes the sentiment and the substance of the warning of James 4:6, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”  That was evident in Anna Waring’s life, as well as in her hymn, especially in that most famous line, which is found in stanza 2: “A heart at leisure from itself,” meaning a heart not promoting itself but seeking to bring comfort and aid to others.

In Stanza 1, we recognize the meaning of Psalm 139, that all our days were ordained for us before one of them came to be.  God has “portioned out for me” what He believes to be best suited for my ultimate good and His glory.  Walking by faith is necessary, since we don’t know what changes we will have to face from what we have known and have expected.  But we refuse to give in to fear of that unknown future because we trust the one who has planned all things in our lives, and ask only “for a present mind intent on pleasing Thee.”

Father, I know that all my life Is portioned out for me,
And the changes that are sure to come I do not fear to see;
But I ask Thee for a present mind Intent on pleasing Thee.

In Stanza 2, we think about our lives, not so much in terms of what we will face, as in terms of how we can live for the benefit of others around us.  What a fine goal is given here, asking God for “a thoughtful love,” watching to see how we can show love to those we meet who are hurting or lonely or puzzled.  Oh, that we might become known as people who always have “joyful smiles” and are ready at a moment’s notice “to wipe the weeping eyes” of those we see, seeking “to soothe and sympathize.”  The stanza concludes with that famous line about “a heart at leisure from itself,” a heart not agitated with self, hardly even thinking about self at all … think “relaxed.”  (How sad that in some hymnals, this stanza is omitted!)

I ask Thee for a thoughtful love, Through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles, And to wipe the weeping eyes;
And a heart at leisure from itself, To soothe and sympathize.

In Stanza 3, we pause to realize how restless we are so much of the time, hurrying “to and fro, seeking for some great thing to do or secret thing to know.”  Instead, if we would slow down, we would begin to see more of those needs in the lives of others around us, rather than being so focused on ourselves.  And what did Anna have in mind about being treated “as a child?”  She answers it in the next phrase “and guided where I go.”  Children are content not to be in charge, but to calmly and trustingly follow where those more mature direct them to go (and warn them what to avoid!).

I would not have the restless will That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do Or secret thing to know;
I would be treated as a child, And guided where I go.

In Stanza 4, we remember what many of us experienced when we traveled in ministry to other cultures and discovered how many of them are much more attuned to and concerned about relationships than we, in our action-oriented lifestyles in the west.  What a sweet thing it is to enjoy “a fellowship with hearts” with those who share our love for the Lord and for the work of the gospel.  It was unforgettable to find how close we were with people whose culture we did not know and whose language we could not understand.  But since we were one in Christ, “wherever in the world” we were, and “in whatsoe’er estate,” we were all waiting on the same Lord.

Wherever in the world I am, In whatsoe’er estate,
I have a fellowship with hearts To keep and cultivate;
And a work of lowly love to do For the Lord on whom I wait.

In Stanza 5, we encounter more of the language of humility, confident that the Lord will not deny such a request.  As Jesus taught us to ask for our daily bread, so here we ask Him “for the daily strength” we need to lead this kind of selfless life.  We need His supernatural aid in this, since our sinful natures are so deeply accustomed to depending on self, and to boasting in self.  This will only be possible for us as we keep at His side.  And what a powerful request, that He would enable us to be “content to fill a little space,” as in Psalm 131, so long as He is glorified.

So I ask Thee for the daily strength To none that ask denied,
And a mind to blend with outward life While keeping at Thy side;
Content to fill a little space, If Thou be glorified.

In Stanza 6, we renew our commitment to a spirit of contentment, not asking that our “cup of blessing” be filled for ourselves, but to have our spirit filled so that we might share the overflow with others, serving them.  We do this out of love for Him who loved us, and so that we might live more pleasingly for Him. We always want this to be the dominant spirit within our hearts, both in private and in public.  It’s a good challenge to reconsider the sorts of things we most ask the Lord to do for us and to give to us.

And if some things I do not ask In my cup of blessing be,
I would have my spirit filled the more With grateful love to Thee,
More careful, not to serve Thee much, But to please Thee perfectly.

In Stanza 7, we remember the reality of what the Bible teaches us about the Christian life.  It is a life of joy, but not a life without “briers.”  We were never promised a life without hardships.  To the contrary, Jesus assured us we would face opposition from the world, the flesh, and the devil.  The longer we grow as believers, the more we realize how many of those briers come from within our own hearts, still impacted by our old sinful nature.  We need the patience that comes as part of the fruit of the Spirit, and a continual realization that we need to be constantly in prayer, leaning on our Savior.

There are briers besetting every path That call for patient care;
There is a cross in every lot, And an earnest need for prayer;
But a lowly heart that leans on Thee Is happy anywhere.

In Stanza 8, we address the freedom we experience when we surrender as bond-slaves of the Lord Jesus.  As new creatures, we are no longer slaves to our old nature; we belong to Him and strive to please Him in all things.  This surely is part of what Jesus meant when He said that we would know the truth and the truth would set us free.  He is the truth (“the way, the truth, and the life”) in which we find that liberty.  And we conclude the hymn once more with reference to the “self-renouncing” love which has pervaded the entire text.

In a service which Thy will appoints There are no bonds for me;
For my inmost heart is taught the truth That makes Thy children free.
And a life of self-renouncing love Is a life of liberty.

I first became aware of this fine hymn from a close friend who had served for many years as a nurse/midwife missionary in Eritrea and Kenya.   She not only learned it among the missionary fellowship she had there in their rural clinic there.  She also lived it selflessly, and still does so to this day!  It gave her strength in the midst of extremely trying circumstances there.

Here is a singing of this song (to one of several possible tunes, including BROTHER JAMES’ AIR) from Ghana.